How to Navigate the Real Rules of Business
Ever pitched to someone who nodded along, only to find out later they weren’t the real decision-maker? Or wasted time convincing the wrong person? Power isn’t always where it seems. Accurately reading power relationships will save you time, stress, and missed opportunities.
Where Power Lives 💪
Keith Ferrazzi
The Two Types You Need to Know
1️⃣ Formal Power
The obvious kind:
Titles, authority, hierarchy, for example, the CEO signs off on deals and the procurement manager approves vendors.
2️⃣ Informal Power
The hidden kind:
Influence, trust, expertise. We’re talking about the assistant who “knows how to get things done” or the quiet engineer whose opinion everyone respects.
💡 Notice that the person with the loudest voice isn’t necessarily the most powerful.
🗺️ Stakeholder Mapping
Who Really Calls the Shots?
Think of the main players in your business:
- Investors
- Partners
- Team members
- Clients
Then ask yourself:
- Who has formal power over your goals?
- Who has informal sway (e.g., mentors, connectors, gatekeepers)?
How to Read Power Cues ♟️
Research shows that only 7% of communication is the actual words spoken. Of the rest of the true meaning of a message, 55% is non-verbal (body language, facial expressions) and 38% is vocal (tone, pitch).
Non-Verbal Clues
Body language
Who leans in? Who checks their phone?
Tone shifts
Does someone’s voice change when a certain person speaks?
Conversation Clues
- Who interrupts whom? (Hint: The person who gets interrupted least often holds more power.)
- What’s not said? (“I’ll think about it” often means “no”.)
“Observe the silence between the words, for it often speaks louder than the words themselves.”
Lao Tzu
⚠️ Common Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)
- Assuming titles = control. (The founder’s spouse might veto deals quietly.)
- Missing cultural power gaps. (In some cultures, disagreeing openly is taboo vs. silence ≠ agreement.)
- Overlooking the “gatekeepers”, like the PA who screens all investor emails.)
Power Dynamics Scenario
Imagine that you’re pitching to an investor, but their advisor keeps cutting in.
- Who steers the conversation?
- Who does the investor look to before responding?
- What’s the advisor’s real role?
Remember that power isn’t static. Be prepared to adjust your pitch to address both the formal and informal decision-makers.
Last Word
Power isn’t about who should decide. It’s about who actually does.
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
Alice Walker
When you perceive and take advantage of subtle dynamics rather than assuming only formal titles matter, you gain influence and informal power. Sharpen your observation skills, and you’ll:
- Spend less time convincing the wrong people.
- Spot hidden allies (or blockers) early.
- Navigate deals and partnerships with confidence.
🫵 Test it out! In your next meeting, watch for one power cue you’d normally miss. Who defers? Who gets the last word? Start there.