“Business is a cobweb of human relationships.”
Ross Perot
Emotionally intelligent entrepreneurs with relationship management skills work at building bonds. They:
- Cultivate and maintain extensive informal networks
- Seek out relationships that are mutually beneficial
- Build rapport and keep others in the loop, and
- Make and maintain personal relationships among work associates.
The Unspoken Rules of Building a Killer Network 🤫
⏱️ Time: Grab a coffee and 30 minutes
💣 Truth Bomb: Your Rolodex* is more valuable than your business plan. Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely.
Why This Hurts So Much to Hear
Have you experienced any of these:
- That competitor who landed the investor meeting you couldn’t? Their uncle plays golf with the VC.
- The “overnight success” founder who went viral? They’ve been quietly coffee-hopping with journalists for years.
This isn’t about schmoozing. It’s about not being stupid. Networks = shortcuts. No shortcuts? You’re taking the scenic route to failure.
1️⃣ Stop Collecting Business Cards (Do This Instead)
The Three People You’re Ignoring
i. The Gossip.
Not the petty kind. The one who knows which investor is about to quit their firm, which supplier is tanking, which tech is about to get banned. Find them. Buy them whiskey.
ii. The Exhausted Executive.
Mid-level manager drowning in corporate 💩. They’ll leak industry secrets for a vent session and a Starbucks gift card.
iii. The Failed Founder.
Their scars are your cheat codes. They’ll tell you which partners screw people over and other titbits no one else will admit.
🫵 Scroll your contacts now. Who fits these? DM one within 24 hours with “Need your take on something. Join me for coffee?”
How to Network Without Feeling Slimy
Forget “How can you help me?” Try “Who’s one person you wish you could help but can’t?” Then connect them. Instant karma.
🫵 Send the awkward email, like, “Hey, I know this is random but I’m trying to solve [specific problem]. Heard you’re the person who knows.” Works 70% of the time, every time.
“If you take a sincere interest in others, they’ll take a real interest in you. Build relationships, don’t collect them.”
Rebekah Radice
2️⃣ Digital Networking for People Who Hate Social Media
LinkedIn Hacks That Don’t Suck
Stalk… strategically.
Before meeting someone, find their most recent post. Comment something like “This part about [specific detail] hit home. We struggled with that until we tried [X].” Now you’re not a stranger.
The 3-2-1 DM Rule.
Like 3 of their posts over 2 weeks, then send 1 DM about something they care about. Not your pitch.
⚠️ If your connection request says “I’d love to add you to my network”, you deserve the “Ignore” button.
3️⃣ When Networking Backfires (And How to Fix It)
“I Got Ghosted After Asking for Help”
You messed up by asking too soon. Fix it: “Hey, no reply needed. I just wanted to share this [article/tool] that relates to what you’re doing. Hope it’s useful!” Rebuilds the bridge.
“My Industry is Cliquey as Hell”
Crash the backchannel. Find where the real talk happens (Slack groups, WhatsApp chats, cigar lounges). How? Ask junior employees where they gossip. They’ll tell you.
Your Networking Come-Up Starts Today
The 5-Minute Power Move 🫵
- Open your email/LinkedIn.
- Find someone who mildly intimidated you last year.
- Send: “Been thinking about your take on [thing they care about]. Would you rather grab coffee or get a 2-minute voice note?”
The Dark Arts Bonus Round
Next conference you attend:
- Skip the keynote.
- Lurk near the smoking area or coffee queue.
- Say “What’s the most batshit thing you’ve heard today?”
- Congratulations, you’ve just accessed the uncensored backchannel.
🥸 Networking isn’t about being fake. It’s about finding your people before you need them.
➡️ Next
Check out the quiz below…